Author Topic: TOP HIFL MOMENTS  (Read 3488 times)

Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« on: October 23, 2014, 01:36:40 PM »
Post funny or memorable moments here.
Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.

GM Corbin

  • Master of the BEECAGE
  • The 500 Post Club
  • **
  • Posts: 974
  • Beef / Broccoli 636
  • CONTROVERSIAL DECISION MAKER
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2014, 12:52:02 PM »
We have our first... TJ's dramatic entrance to Orlando...

GM TJ barges into the office dishelved and reeking of pina coladas. He is wearing what remains of the Big Whig costume.

WHEN IT COMES CRASHING DOWN AND IT HURTS INSIDE

BA-DA-DA-DANANANA

THAT FUCKING BITCH HARPO WILL BUY EVERYTHING. BECAUSESHESUCKSANDCOULDNTHIREGOODGMSTHATWERENAMEDGMTJ!!!!!

BA-DA-DA-DANANANANA

I GOT DIVISION RINGS! THAT BITCH HAD LOTS OF MONEY!

IF I HAD THAT MONEY, I WOULD GIVE TO CHARITY

IF I HAD THAT MONEY, ID PUT A HIT ON THAD MCCOY!

THAD MCCOY, YOU CAN GO DIE!

Ba-bow-bow-bonanananaaaaaaaa
[INSERT SIGNATURE HERE]


Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2014, 01:07:20 PM »
TJ is now the Kool-aid man of HIFL
Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.

GM Kirk

  • The Freakin' Man
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2461
  • Beef / Broccoli 1019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2015, 09:14:17 PM »
Well shit, I read that piece of fuckin' paper, but I wanted to hear it from your goddamn lips.

My main fuckin' question is, if we sit that sonofabitch Fermin this week, will it enhance the cocksuckers ability to play next fuckin' week, and not make this a nagging problem.

LOOKING FOR THE TEAM DOC TO DO A CHECK UP, FERMIN ROBERTS STOPS DEAD IN HIS TRACKS HEARING GM POWERS' COMMENTS REFERENCE HIS NAME AND THE EXPLETIVES THAT SURROUND IT...






...


OFFENDED BY HEARING HIS GM CALL HIM A "COCKSUCKER" HE WALKS AWAY, DISHEARTENED.

Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2015, 01:56:33 PM »

"Alright Coach, sounds good. Let's take it to the Scorpions this week!"

-----

"Lolly, can you please get in contact with GM Pancho in Long Beach for me."

-----

"GM Pancho, how are things? I felt the tribute we paid to your tight ends went rather swimmingly, however, it appeared to cost our franchise in the sum of 500k in PR. I know there was no cost negotiated in our agreement as I think we both felt it wouldn't amount to any. I didn't have to honor that request, but I did so with the hopes of a new working relationship with you. I don't feel our franchise paying the money is fair in this circumstance and I am asking, would you now do the honorable thing and cover this PR cost?"





Well I was feeling good about our new friendship but from what I'm understanding this conversation doesn't sound so friendly.  It's odd that you say I felt that the cost of the celebration wouldn't amount to anything since 1) I already paid 500k for my TE to have golden bracelets and 2) I went into the negotiation expecting to pay you a sum of money.  My head coach Mr. Ginobili alerted me that we would have to pay you for your services but when you didn't ask for any my respect for you grew.  Now I see that you were not being kind.  You were being a fool.

And now that I have spent my money on 500k worth of jewelry when I asked to use your facilities first and you gave me no charge ... now that I only have 250k left of PR and you have 1.5 Million you want to give me a 500k tab!? 

I was wrong.  You haven't changed from your NBL days.  Your methods have simply grown over the years and now you are trying a new one on me.  Economics!!

Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.

GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2015, 06:53:48 PM »
Hahaha

your conversation with the wall seems productive the wallpaper appears to agree with you, unfortunately the fine has been paid and you are left feeling annoyed. Luckily for you, Knott Sting is not around to had you claim to have won your battle with the league, as he would likely have reminded you the only reason the case was dropped was due to the use of the wrong team on the contract.
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Pancho

  • IMPACT BOWL V CHAMPION!
  • The 500 Post Club
  • **
  • Posts: 755
  • Beef / Broccoli 14
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2015, 10:15:11 PM »
The Silverbacks get raped by the Mermen ... no lube

GM TJ II

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3138
  • Beef / Broccoli -2
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2015, 04:16:18 AM »
In honor of the Scouting Combine, I feel we must revisit a series of events that predicted the biggest off the field story of Season 5

With her personal assistant and friend Paxar Vega in tow GM Reya arrives, notices the different groups of other GMs and acknowledges them politely before they both take a seat to watch the proceedings.

GM POWERS WATCHES GM SERRA ARRIVE. HE NODS TO A MUSTACHED MAN ACROSS THE ROOM, WHO SUDDENLY DARTS IN FRONT OF REYA. HE DROPS HIS ROBE TO REVEAL A PICTURE OF REYA AIRBRUSHED ON HIS CROTCH.


THE MAN RUNS AWAY, SECURITY CHASING. "BEST MONEY I EVER SPENT" GM POWERS THINKS TO HIMSELF, WATCHING GM SERRA TURN MULTIPLE SHADES OF RED.


Paxar tends to the embarrassed Reya for a few moments, calming her down a bit before turning to the rest of the GMs fuming with anger.

I don't know which one of you had the bright idea to put 'Magic' Mike Delight up to that stunt just now, probably Failchise or Mike "Man I Really Really Need To Get Laid" Powers, but laugh it up now boys because you won't be laughing as we stomp on each and every one of you on our way back to the Impact Bowl...and when we win it?  Reya and I will be the ones laughing.

Paxar then grabs Reya by the hand, whispering to her for a few moments before they decide it would be better for them to view the rest of the combine from the private and secured Alabama box suite rather than down on the field with the boys club.

...They're surprisingly even cockier in public than they were in their in-ring careers...sheesh.

GM APOLLO FINDS HIMSELF A NICE CAN CONTAINING LIPTON'S ICED TEA...WHICH HE PROCEEDS TO POUR ONTO A CUP BEFORE SIPPING FROM IT

Makes a note of the players' reactions to GM Reya shutting down and allowing her assistant to have a very public rant and anyone and everyone. Quietly wonders if this display of weakness from the Alabama GM is a sign of things to come from her team.

GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2015, 11:26:17 PM »
HEARS THE NEWS ABOUT SEATON AND VANCE BEING POACHED AND GLARES IN GM GATES` DIRECTION.

GM GATES LOOKS UP AND NOTICES GM KIRK GLARING IN HIS DIRECTION. GM GATES CALMLY TIPS HIS HAT IN KIRK'S DIRECTION.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2015, 12:17:36 AM by Talon »
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Kirk

  • The Freakin' Man
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2461
  • Beef / Broccoli 1019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2015, 11:37:53 PM »
James, once again, calling about a free agent clit of yours. Our kicker last year, Matthew Larson. I know I disrespected him last year, getting his name wrong in a presser, but I would like to bring him back.

Is he interested in returning to Oakland?






He IS quite the little pleasure button... isn't he...? 
   

GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2015, 12:15:51 AM »
I know, but you are one of the leaders on this team and I wanted to be upfront and give you the heads up and respect of telling you we were going to change things this week. Thank you Roberto, can't wait to see you out there on the field this week.






Roberto?  Hey man... who the hell do you think I am?  My name is KYLE. You want to talk to me like I'm some important part of the team, and then you call me ROBERTO?!

...Go to hell, suit!
 
 

KYLE AQUINO STORMS OUT OF THE OFFICE IN A BIG HUFF AND PUFF MOMENT, HE SLIPS AND FALLS OUTSIDE YOUR SECRETARY'S OFFICE AND SLAMS HIS HEAD ON THE PRINTER, NOW IS IN THE MEDICAL TRAINERS ROOM, HE IS DIAGNOSED WITH A CONCUSSION AND WILL MISS THIS WEEKS GAME...


GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2015, 08:22:26 AM »
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2015, 11:32:14 PM »
So how are you doing, Bobby?




  Actually in the middle of a BJ... gotta go.
     


Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2015, 08:29:22 PM »
END OF SEASON PRESS CONFERENCE





THE MEDIA WAITS FOR YOU TO GIVE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE GAME AND YOUR SEASON AS A WHOLE.



Well...fuck.
Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.

GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2015, 01:16:01 AM »
Toronto Honey Badgers get:
David Hatchett

New Jersey Dragons get:
A warm fuzzy feeling from re-uniting two friends.


GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2016, 10:16:09 PM »




Look at me... I am the captain now.
   
   


LMAO funny for me.  I'm guilty of dropping that phrase.....a lot.  Probably too much for a 2 year old movie.....


GM Gravedigger

  • The First Triple Crown Champion
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 4165
  • Beef / Broccoli 215
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2016, 11:02:41 PM »
 





Oh god, this doesn't mean I'm being traded as soon as I leave the office, does it?

x1 CRW Anarchy Champion
x2 CRW Tag Team Champion
x1 CRW Prime Time Champion






Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2016, 11:06:13 PM »
« Last Edit: January 23, 2016, 11:06:34 PM by Talon »
Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.

GM T-Bone

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 1674
  • Beef / Broccoli 4
  • @GMBoneKC
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2016, 11:08:48 PM »
Damn I was gonna post that Digger

ahahahahahaha

GM Gravedigger

  • The First Triple Crown Champion
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 4165
  • Beef / Broccoli 215
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2016, 11:18:26 PM »
I am terrible at posting pictures....



There.... That's better.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2016, 11:31:01 PM by GM Gravedigger »

x1 CRW Anarchy Champion
x2 CRW Tag Team Champion
x1 CRW Prime Time Champion






GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2016, 11:29:56 PM »
Is this what you wanted?




GM Gravedigger

  • The First Triple Crown Champion
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 4165
  • Beef / Broccoli 215
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #21 on: January 23, 2016, 11:31:39 PM »
Yeah, I just figured it out...

I'll forget again by the next time...

x1 CRW Anarchy Champion
x2 CRW Tag Team Champion
x1 CRW Prime Time Champion






GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #22 on: January 23, 2016, 11:33:07 PM »
LMAO


GM Jon

  • IMPACT BOWL VI AND VII CHAMPION!
  • Prediction Admin / PBL Moderator
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 3155
  • Beef / Broccoli 1334
  • Quiffy
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #23 on: May 19, 2016, 10:53:00 PM »






  If I don't practice hard, I don't practice hard man. If I'm playing good, I'm good. I mean … simple as that. It ain't about that... I mean it's... It's not about that... At all. You know what I'm saying I mean... But it's...it's easy … to, to talk about... It's easy to sum it up when you're just talking about practice. We're sitting in here, and I'm supposed to be the starter, and we in here talking about practice. I mean, listen, we're talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, we talking about practice. Not a game. Not, not … Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it's my last. Not the game, but we're talking about practice, man. I mean, how silly is that? … And we talking about practice. I know I supposed to be there so I'm there. I know I'm supposed to lead by example... I know that... And I do on game day..  But we're talking about practice man. What are we talking about? Practice? We're talking about practice, man. [laughter from the media crowd] We're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. We ain't talking about the game.  We're talking about practice, man. When you come to the arena, and you see me play, you see me play don't you? You've seen me give everything I've got, right? But we're talking about practice right now. We talking about practice.



  

GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2016, 03:32:01 PM »
We are going to have some young players over the next few years. How would you go about trying to develop those players to reach their potential in congruence with your offensive scheme?




I'm from USC, you're going to have to spell that out a little more hass.
 
I don't even like college ball and I LOL'd.


GM Metroll

  • EAT, SLEEP, TRAPE, REPEAT
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2406
  • Beef / Broccoli 786
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2017, 06:53:53 PM »
Insert Appeal Hearing here.

GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #26 on: March 18, 2017, 10:38:54 PM »
A MAGICAL ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOLLOWS YOU THROUGH THE OFFICE AS YOUR INFO IS CORRECT, EVEN AFTER YOUR VACATION WHICH TOOK YOU AWAY FROM THE LEAGUE FOR A FEW DAYS... IF ONLY EVERYONE ELSE WAS SO MATHEMATICALLY CONFIDENT AND STUDIOUS.
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #27 on: August 03, 2017, 12:19:07 AM »




That was a good display of our abilities there!

Yes it was! I am highly impressed with how the team played. Great job by you and the rest of the coaching staff as well as the players. Overall a solid win for us.





Yes! ...that's what I just said.
 
« Last Edit: August 03, 2017, 12:19:31 AM by GM Gooch »
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #28 on: August 03, 2017, 12:22:51 AM »
I am saddened at how few posts are here.
Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.

GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #29 on: August 03, 2017, 12:26:13 AM »
But what is here is CLASSIC.


Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #30 on: August 03, 2017, 12:31:51 AM »
Just means I need to cause more chaos to create more moments...

THE MOD CRACKS HIS KNUCKLES AS THUNDER RUMBLES THROUGH THE HIFL-SKIES
Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.

GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #31 on: August 08, 2017, 12:52:50 PM »




  Actually, since we're still here...


COACH JINGLE PULLS OUT HIS PHONE AND HITS A FEW BUTTONS, MOMENTS LATER SPOTIFY BEGINS TO PUMP "BABY GOT BACK" THROUGH THE SPEAKERS, FILLING THE ROOM WITH THE BEAT AND RHYMES.   COACH BREAKS IT DOWN, SHAKING 'THAT THANG' AS THE MUSIC ROCKS YOUR OFFICE LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN.
   


GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #32 on: August 28, 2017, 04:41:19 PM »
1. Talk us through this weeks game. What went wrong?  What went right?

"We let the game slip away from us in the fourth quarter. Really good effort but we just couldn't pull it out."

2. Talk about a couple of the topics that stood out to you in the news this week.

"Bruiser Elliott being out for the year sucks."

3.  Talk to us about your upcoming game this week.  What will be the key to victory?

"Scoring more points than the other team."





  An exhilarating and awe inspiring presser..
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Metroll

  • EAT, SLEEP, TRAPE, REPEAT
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2406
  • Beef / Broccoli 786
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #33 on: August 28, 2017, 05:31:00 PM »




















THIRTY-EIGHT MEN ENTER YOUR OFFICE, LOCKING ARMS.


GM Jon

  • IMPACT BOWL VI AND VII CHAMPION!
  • Prediction Admin / PBL Moderator
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 3155
  • Beef / Broccoli 1334
  • Quiffy
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #34 on: August 28, 2017, 05:44:45 PM »





THE MASCOT ENTERS "SHORTLY" AFTER...



  

GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #35 on: September 06, 2017, 01:50:58 PM »





  Yeah, like bribing folks to wreck another teams season, right?  Get off that high horse man.
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Metroll

  • EAT, SLEEP, TRAPE, REPEAT
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2406
  • Beef / Broccoli 786
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #36 on: September 15, 2017, 04:39:00 PM »





All I know is they are playing this new game...


SHE HANDS YOU A COPY


« Last Edit: September 15, 2017, 04:42:01 PM by Talon »

GM Jon

  • IMPACT BOWL VI AND VII CHAMPION!
  • Prediction Admin / PBL Moderator
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 3155
  • Beef / Broccoli 1334
  • Quiffy
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #37 on: October 10, 2017, 01:11:50 PM »





100/0 is clearly a way to make part of the team feel alienated.
"Are we in the business of winning games or making everyone happy? Listen, I want to get everybody on the field... but it's not always possible."

"You said this to me a few weeks ago:

Quote
Trevor Jose is definitely a QB who is best when throwing the ball and keeping teams off their game with his great passing.

We both agree that he's our best playmaker and we've got to put the ball in his hands. The strategy seemed to work as we hung with the premier team in the HIFL until the very end, did we not?"






Hey shit bag, I wasn't arguing that we did fine airing it out, I'm just saying you alienated our running backs and we still lost the damn football game.

You don't think that on a short yardage situation in the final minutes of the game running the ball could have eaten the clock a bit or maybe stopped them from sitting back in coverage and picking off the pass to end the game?

I don't know, maybe 95/5 if you want to be extreme,   Or some run plays on 3rd and short or near the goal line ...

Either way its done now.  You've pissed off the entire RB Corps, but you're not in the business of making everyone happy, so I guess it's just going to fester and turn into a very toxic locker room.   

I'm going to get to practice. Send me the strategy when you're ready.


COACH WALKS OUT.



  

GM Jon

  • IMPACT BOWL VI AND VII CHAMPION!
  • Prediction Admin / PBL Moderator
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 3155
  • Beef / Broccoli 1334
  • Quiffy
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #38 on: December 30, 2017, 10:52:30 AM »
DREW INFORMS YOU THAT THE "UNOFFICIAL SHEET" ON GOOGLE DOCS THAT IS RUN BY OTHER PEOPLE IS NOT CORRECT, BECAUSE CLAYTON MILLIGAN WAS TRADED TO LAS VEGAS IN THE JOSEPH MULLINS TRADE.



  

Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #39 on: December 30, 2017, 10:52:47 AM »
Quote
GM Garcia arrives with a short, stumbling man who vaguely resembles one of the pigs from Animal Farm, shortly after they have learnt to walk upright
Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.

GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #40 on: January 07, 2018, 10:20:37 PM »
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Jon

  • IMPACT BOWL VI AND VII CHAMPION!
  • Prediction Admin / PBL Moderator
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 3155
  • Beef / Broccoli 1334
  • Quiffy
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #41 on: January 07, 2018, 10:22:02 PM »




YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN APPROACHED BY YOUR OWNER, THIS TIME IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS FOR ALL THE LEAGUE AND WORLD TO SEE ON LIVE TELEVISION

What part of ANY deals you make comes to me first PERIOD did you not understand?!

I don't care if you're trading casserole recipes with another GM, if it goes to the league office without my blessing it was not allowed... for that you force my hand now let me make this CRYSTAL clear.


YOU.

ARE.

FORBIDDEN.

FROM.

MAKING.

ANY.

TRADES.

FOR.

THE.

NEXT.

FULL.

YEAR!

P-E-R-I-O-D!!!!
 




  

GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #42 on: January 13, 2018, 10:24:05 PM »
HE SHARES A HEARTFELT STORY OF A CHILDHOOD DREAM BECOMING A REALITY. HE ONLY WISHES THAT HIS OLD DOG ROOFUS WAS STILL AROUND TO SHARE THE EXPERIENCE, IF ONLY THE MACK TRUCK HAD SEEN HIM IN TIME... OH THE TEARS, OF JOY AND OF SORROW, IT IS BITTER-SWEET AS YOU SHARE A HUG
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Jon

  • IMPACT BOWL VI AND VII CHAMPION!
  • Prediction Admin / PBL Moderator
  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 3155
  • Beef / Broccoli 1334
  • Quiffy
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #43 on: January 18, 2018, 12:07:51 AM »





THE PAIR OF 283 and 329 POUND LINEMEN SHARE A LAUGH, REMEMBER THE DAYS THEY DREAMED OF BEING A RUNNING BACK OR QUARTERBACK, BACK IN THE DAYS BEFORE HAIR GREW ABOVE THEIR PACKAGES, BEFORE THEY EVER FOUND THEIR FATHERS PORN STASH HIDDEN IN THE SHED.. THEY LAUGH AND SNAP BACK TO REALITY AND LEAVE YOU WITHOUT A FULLBACK.. A SMALL SHEET OF PAPER FALLS FROM THE HEAVENS WITH THE LAST TWO FULLBACKS ON THE MARKET, BUT IT SLIPS OUT OF THE WINDOW BLOWING INTO THE WIND LIKE SO MUCH OF THE POTENTIAL THAT CAME WITH THIS JOB WHEN YOU WERE FIRST HIRED.



  

GM Powers

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 3364
  • Beef / Broccoli 9013
  • GM of the Eastern Conference Champions
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #44 on: February 23, 2018, 08:37:41 PM »
I appreciate the honesty Oliver.  You put your cards on the table and I can definitely respect that.  Since you came at me that way I'll return the favor.

You'd rather be working outside than in the slot. 

You'd rather be #1 but at least #2

And you expected to have that happen this season but when the offseason finished up - you were left questioning your future on the franchise based on the moves I made. You had one set of expectations and I delivered another.

Now I can work on getting you more looks outside. I can't guarantee to make you my WR#1 or #2 THIS season. And i'm also hyper aware that my butt being on the hot seat isn't just affecting me but is also impacting you guys on the team. 

Let's start with the pre season. I plan on making you the primary target and list you as #1 on the depth chart for both those games and then see how we can build on that moving forward in the season.

So I want to visit this conversation throughout the season and check in on you.  I do value you Oliver and I want to show it - so you can see it. 

But like I said this isn't a one time conversation we'll touch base throughout the season.

How you feeling now Oliver?





I just get this vibe that you're brushing my issues under the carpet just wanting me to shut up and do my job.. well yessa' massa' I'll get back to it fo ya ri'nowa!



GM Strike Guy

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 4672
  • Beef / Broccoli 66
  • Milwaukee Barons GM
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #45 on: February 23, 2018, 10:35:26 PM »






Absolutely.  You see, the entire program is based on the main premise of my best selling book "Ladoux or don't: Stretching your body and mind to a healthier, happier you"

The entire book came to me as I laid in a ditch along side the highway, drinking away my sorrows of losing the impact bowl in my final season... then I realized how stupid I was.  I had lived a life that others would kill for..

I tried to get up out of that ditch, but I slipped and fell into a gnarly split... but in that moment I felt peace.  As my loins and tendons stretched to a new level, I felt enlightened and overwhelmed with pure relaxation...

From that day on I spent my money learning to train and later instruct Yoga, and since then I have helped millions of people overcome mental walls  to find their inner peace.
...Fuck all y'all, I POPPED for DDP Yoga making its way into the HIFL via Laroux

GM Gooch

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2826
  • Beef / Broccoli 88
  • Never wanted the fame, I only wanted to be great
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #46 on: June 13, 2018, 01:18:24 PM »





No doubt.  Getting this extra chance to learn and scout is huge, I know the staff is loving it already.  Knowledge is power.  ...I just wonder how many of these silly GM's will share their info with other GM's thinking they're being all crafty..

COACH GRAHAM SHAKES HIS HEAD, LAUGHING TO HIMSELF AS HE THINKS OF HOW COUNTER PRODUCTIVE THAT IS
Quote
GM Kirk [12|Mar 04:19 PM]: Gooch, how much did you bribe the HIFLPA to help you steal all my players?
GM TJ [12|Mar 04:21 PM]: Lolololololololooooooooooollllllllllll
Disgraced GM Powers [12|Mar 04:24 PM]: The league is #TeamGooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: It's because he's so nice....
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: Unnaturally nice...
GM Adam Wrong [12|Mar 04:25 PM]: I love gooch
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:26 PM]: Everyone loves Gooch, except Kirk...
GM Phoenix [12|Mar 04:28 PM]: Almost makes you think gooch is reincarnate red skull trying to live a double nice guy life on hifl
GM Gravedigger [12|Mar 04:31 PM]: Gooch's heel turn will rival Hogan....

GM Strike Guy

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 4672
  • Beef / Broccoli 66
  • Milwaukee Barons GM
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #47 on: July 06, 2018, 01:11:41 AM »




Hell yeah man, HELL YEAH!  ...did you know a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig!"


I haven't heard that before. I got one for you though, did you know that pigs hardly have any sweat glands, so the phrase 'sweating like a pig' is largely inaccurate?








Brilliant!  Hopefully the fuckers don't end up walking and talking and trying to run the freakin' farm... Don't need bacon tryin' to dictate my life.


One look at the Oval Office might have you believing we’re too late for that shit, Justin. Anyway, nice talking with you, keep up that work ethic you’ve been putting in!

GM Lucas

  • The 1,000 Post Club
  • ***
  • Posts: 2435
  • Beef / Broccoli 26
  • Winning starts Now!
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #48 on: July 18, 2018, 01:17:56 AM »

 


...are you talking to me, my child?

Talon

  • High Impact Football League Commissioner
  • Administrator
  • The 30,000 Post Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 36242
  • Beef / Broccoli 50019
    • View Profile
Re: TOP HIFL MOMENTS
« Reply #49 on: July 21, 2018, 12:17:07 PM »
S10 WEEK 10


2. With the All-Star Rosters being announced this week, what is your take on the composition, any snubs or surprises from the other team? 

Botts and Britt were surprise omissions from the West Coast team, so I picked them up. I'm not happy to see Hagan lining up against us, but the Western All-Stars just lost to Tulsa without him and I doubt he'll make enough of a difference for that same team to compete with the squad I put together. For those whining about my team, get 65 wins and then speak to me.
Quote
GM Kirk [21|May 12:29 AM]:   When trade fever hits, math is the first casualty.